


Unspoken

by DAWK



Category: Normal People - Sally Rooney, Normal People - TV Series
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAWK/pseuds/DAWK
Summary: What might have happened in 1x06 if Connell and Marianne didn't misunderstand one another?
Relationships: Connell Waldron/Marianne Sheridan, Marianne Sheridan/Connell Waldron
Comments: 18
Kudos: 131





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't stop thinking about the ending of 1x06 so I got extremely carried away with my thoughts and here we are!  
> I hope you enjoy and please leave (nice) comments!

The sunlight bounced off the pool and right into Connell's eyes, as he fought the urge to remove his hand from around Marianne's waist to shield them. He was regretting not taking Marianne's comments, about not owing Sophie his life because she'd helped him get a job, seriously enough as he was desperate to leave the party and lie down. Besides, since finding out his job was no longer, appreciation had slowly grown into resentment and he could feel himself becoming more bitter as everyone else at the party joked and laughed louder and louder.

There were a few options for Connell, one of which was blindingly obvious but pained him to even think about. Asking Marianne if he could stay at hers. Niall was right, he was there almost every night anyway. As much as he thought about how simple it would be logistically, he would actually have to ask her first. Something he was finding nigh on impossible to do. Connell didn't think Marianne would say no initially, but their relationship hadn't been quite right recently, largely due to him avoiding any questions about work and his roomshare which left him with not much to say at all. The longer Connell let the question dance around in his head, the more obvious it seemed that Marianne wouldn't like him living with her. After the borderline (definite) argument they'd had about Jamie touching her, and more significantly Connell not touching her, he'd made a conscious effort to be more of a proper boyfriend. Connell had tried cooking for Marianne, something he found entirely infuriating, much to her amusement. 

He'd also promised himself he would tell her things. Mundane things, pointless things that cropped up day to day that she'd look up from her book from, raise an eyebrow and joke about with him. Communication was not his strong point, nor hers, and Connell knew that if things were to work out this time, he'd have keep a little less to himself. Conversations with Marianne felt intensely private, almost as though he wanted to keep it all in his head so he was more likely to remember everything she said, the way she said it. If only he could find a way to make it clear he needed somewhere to stay, without actually having to say the words. 

"Marianne" he whispered, unaware he'd spoken her name aloud until she turned to face him.

"Yeah?"

"It's...ah" Connell winced slightly, shifting his body awkwardly.

"It's what?"

"Could we maybe have a chat when we get back? It's nothing it's just..."

Marianne turned to fully face him, then. A slight wave of guilt rushed through her for not paying Connell much attention throughout the conversation they were currently having, or at least trying to have. She stroked the tip of his right ear gently.

"Sure" she nodded, "We can leave soon, if you'd like". 

Marianne made sure to look directly into Connell's eyes, smiling as she said this, because quite often he would take statements like these as hints that he's being annoying when she never meant them that way. Connell wasn't ever annoying, never overbearing or too loud. It was his quiet, constant presence in her life that Marianne had missed the most over the months they hadn't spoken, and the thing she was most grateful to get back. Since restarting their relationship away from his friends in Carricklea, she'd been able to pick up hints from him when he wanted to leave any type of social gathering, which had made her realise that she was all too happy to abandon parties and birthday meals in favour of heading home and climbing into bed with him. For all of the loud bars and overbearing friends she'd somehow acquired at college, it was the silence and the half-asleep chats with Connell that she still looked forward to the most. 

The drive back to Marianne's flat took around 15 minutes or so. She was always so appreciative of times that Connell decided not to drink so that they could leave in his car whenever they liked. Marianne glanced over at him as he flashed his lights to let someone out. Maybe it was her fault that he found it a bit difficult to speak to her. Maybe her family have made her permanently cold and impossible to confide in, let alone love. Or perhaps that's just the way men are? The way Connell is? Marianne knew how concerned Connell had always been with how people perceive him, that was glaringly obvious at school, when he hid their relationship away from everybody in order to lead two practically separate lives. 

It was also apparent whenever Marianne asked him something. Connell's response would never be "yes" or "no", but "why do you think that?" or "who said anything about wanting to do that?". Connell's first concern was always other people, how they see him and how they feel about him. He'd never made such a point about needing to talk before; it made her slightly sick to the stomach that he could be about to break up with her. Had he caught wind of what Jamie asked her at the pool party? The honest truth was, she wasn't sure if Connell was right for her, but being with him felt like home. She couldn't put her finger on exactly why it did. Maybe because her family life had been nothing short of atrocious, maybe because he was the first person she'd ever loved, or maybe because they were completely right for one another. It had started to drizzle lightly as they pulled up outside the flat, yet neither Connell nor Marianne made any effort to run inside, both desperate to put off the evening and inevitable conversations it would entail.

"So basically uh" Connell said with a shaky intake of breath, placing their mugs of tea down and sitting on the floor beside Marianne, "the restaurant is being refurbished for the next few months so I uh, don't really know what's going to happen with everything in terms of, like, work and stuff"

Marianne searched Connell's face in a desperate attempt to get him to maintain eye contact with her. She knew he was feeling humiliated, and couldn't help but assume this wasn't the entire story.

"Right" she whispered "So you're not working anymore? When did they tell you this?"

"Aye, about 10 days or so ago?" Connell rubbed his eyes with the tips of his fingers, feeling a headache coming on. "I've been meaning to tell you since, it's just...embarrassing, you know"

"Why is it embarrassing?"

"I ah, just, haven't found a new job yet so I might need to move back home over summer and um, I can't really afford to do anything at all at the moment" he chuckled nervously, looking into Marianne's eyes briefly before pretending to take an interest in the fringing of the rug they were sat on. 

"You're okay though, aren't you? Niall hasn't kicked you out or anything?"

"No not as such, he's going to sub-let so I can move back in when I can" Connell nodded, forcing a smile as it dawned on him how he could no longer even afford a bed in a shared room anymore. It was one of the things he truly hated about college; he was one of the few students he knew who had to work alongside their studies and he was still barely scraping by. 

"I mean I'm not doing great" he laughed, slightly too loudly to convince Marianne it was genuine. "I was meant to go and see Lorraine for her birthday last weekend but like, petrol money you know"

"Oh Connell..." Marianne moved closer to him, keeping her eyes screwed shut tightly to stop any tears from forming.

"I'm alright, honestly I- I've become really good at making a meal last for like three days, which is quite a skill." he smirked, looking down at his fingernails and sighing softly. 

Marianne wrapped both of her arms around his bicep and rested her head on his shoulder. "You should've told me earlier, you know. I had no idea, I'm so sorry." 

"Mmm, yeah I know." Connell turned slowly and placed a tentative kiss on the top of her head, bracing himself for the question he was finally about to ask.

"You can stay here. For as long as you like. You pretty much live here anyway." Marianne tilted her head up to look into his eyes, seeing relief instantly wash over his face 

"Really? Are you sure because I don't want to get in your way like"

"Connell" she giggled, more to herself than anything else "You're never in the way. I really like having you here. You know that."

Connell turned to look out of the window, trying as hard as he could to hide the grin on his face. He hadn't even needed to ask, in the end. 

"If I do get on your nerves though, I can move back in with Niall as soon as I get a new job and save up enough money. I'll pay you rent, of course."

Marianne got onto her knees, cupping Connell's face and kissing his lips softly, "No, you won't. Don't be silly." She stood up and moved to sit on the sofa, beckoning him over by patting the space next to her. "It's the one thing my family have given me so I think we're both okay to milk it for all it's worth, don't you?"

Connell lay his head on her lap, stretching his legs out over the end of the velvet sofa, "I suppose so."

Marianne laughed quietly, running her fingers through his hair gently. Glad as she was to finally understand why Connell had been so out of character over the past few days, it made her heart physically ache thinking about he hadn't been eating properly and had missed his mother's birthday rather than explain to her what had happened, something that wasn't his fault at all. Much as Marianne hated it, most of their conversations were about her: her seminars, her essay deadlines, her friends. She put it down to how comfortable she felt around Connell; there was no-one else's company she loved being in every minute of every day. Living together would likely bring about more disagreements, more frustration about Connell's silence and her own inability to keep her thoughts to herself. It would also bring about more laughter, more conversation and the only time in Marianne's life where she hadn't lived in a household full of people who could hardly stand to be around her. Connell adored her, she knew that. For all of her frustrations, Marianne didn't want to change him, if anything she wanted to wrap him up in cotton wool and keep him that way forever. 

"Have you not been sleeping properly?" she whispered to him, idly playing with his hair as his eyes closed slowly.

"I suppose not" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his fist in the most adorable, childlike way Marianne had ever seen. "I've just been worried about everything and exams are coming up so..."

"Let's go to bed." she said, waiting for him to get up and following him to her bedroom. Their bedroom, now.

***

Connell woke at 10am, the longest he'd slept for months. Marianne wasn't next to him, he assumed she'd gone for an early morning swim as was part of her recent routine. He wandered into the kitchen to find pastries and fresh berries on the table, along with an envelope addressed to him. Laughing to himself as he sat down, Connell opened the envelope and read the short note inside:  
"I'll be back around lunch time - this belongs to you. M x" Tipping the envelope upside down, a metallic clang rang out as a gold key - the spare one usually kept under one of the many plant pots outside Marianne's flat - fell out onto the floor. 

Connell smiled, picking up the key and running his fingers over the jagged edges, mumbling happily to himself...

"Let's give this a go then, I suppose"


End file.
